What Your Body Language Says About You And How To Change That

Often, we spend time thinking of how we're going to tell a person something. We spend hours writing and rewriting speeches in our head. However, the reality is that our non verbal communication shows a lot more meaning than our actual words. You know that saying, "Actions speak louder than words," it's kind of the same thing. So continue to read on and learn what your body language says about you and how you can change it to mean what you say!

To begin, lets talk about how our body language affects us. When we interact with people, our body

Here's an example of an assertive and submissive pose

language labels us as powerful and dominant, or weak and submissive. If you look at the animal kingdom, animals display dominance by expanding, stretching out, and taking up more space. Humans are the same way. On the other hand when we wrap ourselves up, or draw ourselves close, we display a sense of powerlessness. These actions govern the way other people think and feel about us. More than that though, our non verbals govern the way we think and feel about ourselves.

Now we have the question, how do we change what our body language says about us? Have you ever heard the phrase "fake it until you make it," surprisingly it's true. According to Dr. Amy Cuddy, "When you pretend to be powerful, you are more likely to actually feel powerful." The idea is that if you begin an interaction with a more submissive pose, then the person that is going to react will most likely mirror your pose. In other words, if you act in a dominant manner, they are likely to be submissive around you. In the same way, if you feel that someone else is dominant, you will be inclined to act submissive. For this reason it's important to establish ourselves when we first begin a conversation.

When reading this you might think, "If I try to change my posture and my assertiveness, then I won't show who I truly am." However, when you change your non verbal communication style, you will begin to change. In a study conducted by Dr. Cuddy, it was found that when people act more dominant, their testosterone (the hormone associated with dominance) levels rise and their cortisol (the hormone related to stress, levels decrease) levels drop. Also when a person continues to act in the way that they want to be seen, it eventually becomes a norm to them. 

So next time you're struggling to tell a person something, or you're stressing out over an interview, just take a minute and remember to take up a little more space, raise your tone, and slow your words down a little bit. All these things make you seem more assertive, trustworthy, and reliable. Now go out there and be superman!

Till next time!

-Syed Mahmood